On Faith
Dear Self,
During a late evening snack after working out, a devout friend of mine and I got into the topic of FAITH. More specifically, why does God allow such bad things to happen... and, in a lot of instances, to good people as well.
I looked back at my own experiences. I don't really consider myself as particularly devout or religious, but I do try to attend mass regularly and I have participated in charismatic groups and worships before. Although I'm not always consistent in the expression of my faith, I have always believed in God and prayed often.
However, recently, it has been difficult. The past two years have seen some of the greatest trials I've ever been through in my life, and it has, undoubtedly, shaken my faith. During these past two years, I felt like I was constantly being bombarded by one horrible news after another. It's like falling on your knees in the boxing ring, but your opponent just keeps punching. During these past two years, I felt like I could barely keep my head above the water, as the waves kept rolling down on me, crushing me as I try to catch every labored breath.
As a consequence, my prayers felt empty, unheard... perhaps, even ignored. But I trudged on. I continued hearing mass. I continued to thank God for each morning that I would wake up. I continued asking Him to protect me and my loved ones before I go to bed at night. But it all felt empty, like some poem that I've memorized and recited over and over again.
I found myself in the chapel at our hospital on most evenings before making my way home. There, I would sit alone, and talk to God. I shed tears. I broke down in solitude. But I felt unheard. I don't think I've ever asked why He let those things happen to me and my family; I would only pray that we all get through the turmoil and find peace. Some days were more difficult than others - particularly during those times when we would be hit by another bout of distressing news.
Why does God allow bad things to happen? Why are bad people created? Why are the good made to suffer? I posed these questions to my friend, and even she could not give me a straight answer. It is true that His will is difficult to discern. Although my prayers may feel empty right now, I can only trust that all of this is meant to happen for a divine purpose that has yet to be revealed.
Sincerely,
Lagundi
During a late evening snack after working out, a devout friend of mine and I got into the topic of FAITH. More specifically, why does God allow such bad things to happen... and, in a lot of instances, to good people as well.
I looked back at my own experiences. I don't really consider myself as particularly devout or religious, but I do try to attend mass regularly and I have participated in charismatic groups and worships before. Although I'm not always consistent in the expression of my faith, I have always believed in God and prayed often.
However, recently, it has been difficult. The past two years have seen some of the greatest trials I've ever been through in my life, and it has, undoubtedly, shaken my faith. During these past two years, I felt like I was constantly being bombarded by one horrible news after another. It's like falling on your knees in the boxing ring, but your opponent just keeps punching. During these past two years, I felt like I could barely keep my head above the water, as the waves kept rolling down on me, crushing me as I try to catch every labored breath.
As a consequence, my prayers felt empty, unheard... perhaps, even ignored. But I trudged on. I continued hearing mass. I continued to thank God for each morning that I would wake up. I continued asking Him to protect me and my loved ones before I go to bed at night. But it all felt empty, like some poem that I've memorized and recited over and over again.
I found myself in the chapel at our hospital on most evenings before making my way home. There, I would sit alone, and talk to God. I shed tears. I broke down in solitude. But I felt unheard. I don't think I've ever asked why He let those things happen to me and my family; I would only pray that we all get through the turmoil and find peace. Some days were more difficult than others - particularly during those times when we would be hit by another bout of distressing news.
Why does God allow bad things to happen? Why are bad people created? Why are the good made to suffer? I posed these questions to my friend, and even she could not give me a straight answer. It is true that His will is difficult to discern. Although my prayers may feel empty right now, I can only trust that all of this is meant to happen for a divine purpose that has yet to be revealed.
Sincerely,
Lagundi
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