Finding That Balance
Dear Self,
Today isn't one of those good days. It has been utterly frustrating. Two cases have backfired and blown up on my face, partly because I was trying to be a team player.
I tend to be very cautious whenever I make my diagnoses, especially if it involves my subspecialty, pulmonary pathology. As such, I tend to write down verbose comments underneath my diagnoses, to make sure that I get my thoughts across. This was how I was trained when I did my fellowship in Canada. However, the tricky thing is, back here, in my home country, verbose comments aren't exactly the norm.
The problem is, for some cases, two pathologists are required to look at the slides before they are signed out. Until today, whenever I am just the second pathologist, I used to let a few things slide - for example, where I would add that a particular feature needs to be ruled out, sometimes, the other pathologist may not want it put in his report. Hence, in some instances, as long as the main diagnostic line makes sense to me, I let the lack of additional comments slide.
However, this backfired on me twice today. Two cases, from different hospitals, came back to haunt me. One even got treated with the wrong chemotherapy because the oncologist wasn't aware of the other possibilities he should rule out - something that I would have written if it was my report, but, as a second pathologist, I just let things be.
Utterly frustrating. I tried to be a team player. Several other pathologists have commented that I tend to be too rigid in my opinions; several have said that I should grow a backbone in making my diagnoses. Even against my better judgement, I tried the path of appeasing everyone. And it has been getting me into trouble lately. I've had a few cases before, most of which had minor implications. But, this time around, I think the impact of not putting in that comment was a lot more serious. I feel so frustrated. I should have insisted on it.
From now on, I will be more firm with my opinions. I cannot allow this to happen again. It certainly is an eye-opener. I have to stick to what I've been taught.
I want to lash out. I want to punch something. I hate being wrong, especially when I know that I could have done something to prevent it.
Today is a tough day.
Sincerely,
Lagundi
Today isn't one of those good days. It has been utterly frustrating. Two cases have backfired and blown up on my face, partly because I was trying to be a team player.
I tend to be very cautious whenever I make my diagnoses, especially if it involves my subspecialty, pulmonary pathology. As such, I tend to write down verbose comments underneath my diagnoses, to make sure that I get my thoughts across. This was how I was trained when I did my fellowship in Canada. However, the tricky thing is, back here, in my home country, verbose comments aren't exactly the norm.
The problem is, for some cases, two pathologists are required to look at the slides before they are signed out. Until today, whenever I am just the second pathologist, I used to let a few things slide - for example, where I would add that a particular feature needs to be ruled out, sometimes, the other pathologist may not want it put in his report. Hence, in some instances, as long as the main diagnostic line makes sense to me, I let the lack of additional comments slide.
However, this backfired on me twice today. Two cases, from different hospitals, came back to haunt me. One even got treated with the wrong chemotherapy because the oncologist wasn't aware of the other possibilities he should rule out - something that I would have written if it was my report, but, as a second pathologist, I just let things be.
Utterly frustrating. I tried to be a team player. Several other pathologists have commented that I tend to be too rigid in my opinions; several have said that I should grow a backbone in making my diagnoses. Even against my better judgement, I tried the path of appeasing everyone. And it has been getting me into trouble lately. I've had a few cases before, most of which had minor implications. But, this time around, I think the impact of not putting in that comment was a lot more serious. I feel so frustrated. I should have insisted on it.
From now on, I will be more firm with my opinions. I cannot allow this to happen again. It certainly is an eye-opener. I have to stick to what I've been taught.
I want to lash out. I want to punch something. I hate being wrong, especially when I know that I could have done something to prevent it.
Today is a tough day.
Sincerely,
Lagundi
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